"Grumpy Gull (Raw)" by Richard F. Yates

Here we see the dreaded GRUMPY GULL, a cynic who refuses to see the bright side of ANYTHING! Pollution, the current fad for removing environmental protection laws, political bickering...even social media...he just can't see the HUMOR in any of it! Poor gull. (If you've seen the COLOR photo of the gull, you'll remember that he has the COOLEST plumage, dyed rainbow hues and glowing brightly, all thanks to that STUFF that he's been swimming in and seems to think is BAD.)

Get a sense of humor, Mr. Gull! You'll feel better...

---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[P.S. - I hope I don't have to say this, but just in case: 'This short bit is SATIRE. I hope nobody actually thinks I or any of my fragmented personae are PRO environmental crisis. Destroying the only place you have to live seems like a bad idea to me.']