I am the designer of my own catastrophe.

Since graduating I have been thinking more about how I am continuously maturing as a person. Sometimes I feel I am the same before, but other times it seems like I have progressed. When people leave you, you take new offers no matter how they are; you keep doing it because you don’t have a choice. I doubt myself as an artist because it's gonna be one hell of a profession. Either-way if you make it or not. Thoughts are uncountable in this chaotic situation. I see this person standing in front of me which I don’t know if it was me or not but he was standing in the dream and he had branches all over his face, no face just branches. I was wondering is it the surrealist piece I am thinking about creating? But then I tried putting in concepts for it could possibly mean something. It seemed to be my branch of thought. How invaluable they are, countless and beautiful no matter how impulsive they can be or how immature they seem but they’re still my thoughts, and eventually, I do learn from them. Let’s call it a “basic self-portrait”. Maybe my consciousness thrives on looking at the beauty but not on how beauty is made. Yes, beauty is natural but is it?